Gay Bars: Has their popularisation come at a cost?
BY ELSIE KING
TW: Mentions of harassment and sexual acts
Social spaces catering to and celebrating the LGBTQ+ community, more popularly known as gay bars, have existed for centuries. Lack of historical documentation and the secrecy surrounding homosexuality - given its illegality until as late as 1967 - make it difficult to build up a substantiative history of these spaces. However, Britain’s first recognised gay bar is said to have been The Cave of The Golden Calf, opened in 1912 by Frida Strindberg, a popular haunt of people as influential as the fantastic Oscar Wilde. For years these places have been a safe space, allowing a freedom of expression generally shunned within wider society.
In recent years, the nature of these venues has progressed along with society at large and they have only become bolder and more experimental. However, the popularisation of these spaces has come at a cost. Straight, cisgender individuals have begun to recognise the richness of LGBTQ+ culture through shows such as RuPaul’s Drag Race and Pose. Though the positives of a more progressive and accepting society are undeniable, the glaring problem is the invasion of LGBTQ+ safe spaces, meaning safety and freedom of expression may be compromised.
Non-allies are more frequently viewing these places as a gimmick. An example of this would be the four straight boys I witnessed in the OMG queue (Bristol’s main gay bar) who, upon realising it was for LGBTQ+ people, pulled their tops up and crudely imitated the gay stereotype. It was only thanks to the attentiveness of the bouncers that they were not allowed in. These attitudes are harmful and dismissive of other identities, all within an environment where these identities can express themselves.
Cis straight women also often visit gay clubs, sometimes in support of their LGBTQ+ friends, or as a way to try and avoid the unwanted sexual advancements found in regular bars and clubs. The question must therefore be posed as to whether this is the correct place to seek refuge, or whether alternatives should be pursued. In order to gauge varied responses to the issues posed above, I reached out to multiple members of the LGBTQ+ community within the FUZE Family.
FUZE Family member Titas at FUZE Utopia, 2021
Image by Alice Sutton
What are your experiences in LGBTQ+ spaces?
Lara (she/her): Prior to lockdown I was attending LGBT clubs as a woman who had only just begun to question my sexuality, being in those spaces only affirmed and made me feel so much more comfortable with the identity I was beginning to understand. After fully coming out over lockdown, attending queer spaces, both the ones in my home city and Bristol became something expressive and freeing where I could explore where I fit in a community so important to the person I had become.
Titas (they/them): Haven’t been to many as they are usually full of cis white gay men who disregard any other race, gender and sexuality. For a community built on inclusivity, many members of the community make others feel uncomfortable or even excluded. Gender non-conforming people are never in the conversations about LGBT freedom and liberty, and are sometimes played off for entertainment. Gender non-conforming people, like myself, often find that once we come out to potential partners as non-binary, for example, the partners are completely put off. So, personally, I start dressing in a more gender-conforming way and do not tell people as openly about my gender expression until much later on.
Also, the lack of understanding of LGBT history and struggle really shows, and where most of our culture comes from: black, trans, women. They want to parade about thinking they’re pioneers for wearing black eyeliner, but don't think about the many people that came before them and endured violence to allow them to wear that makeup. Racism is also very prevalent in the LGBT community, which is absolutely disgusting.
Darnell (he/him): My experiences in LGBTQ+ spaces are a mix of positive and negative as I feel some of these spaces only cater to some part of the community and not the community as a whole. But the majority of these spaces are quite actively positive as they try to involve the whole community and not just certain parts of it.
Ali (he/him): When I first started going, I felt a lot of different emotions ranging from free to intimidated. My experiences within LGBT spaces started in London in Soho in places such as G-A-Y and Circa. The facade of LGBT spaces being safe quickly vanished within a few hours in my first gay bar when an older man who appeared to be in his fifties groped me when I was on my way to the toilet. I looked at him in disgust and told him to f**k off. He had a f**ked up look in his eyes as if he got off on making young men uncomfortable. I have since then had many, many experiences with harassment in gay spaces, to the point where it is the norm and occurs multiple times every night I go out to such spaces.
Do you feel the environment within them has changed?
Lara: Obviously, as a second year university student, I understand everyone experienced the “freshers” period this year. In saying that, the queer spaces I have entered since September have become a lot busier and honestly feel less safe. With an influx of freshers/students looking for a cheaper night out or women looking to feel safer in the midst of the awful spiking trend going on currently, queer spaces have been compromised to account for this.
Darnell: I feel that it's evolving and changing but I don't think the scene within Bristol for the LGBTQ+ community has changed majorly.
Ali: On the one hand, allyship is widely appreciated and it is amazing seeing the way in which going to gay bars is no longer stigmatised and just seen as a normal thing to do. However, is the indulgence of gay spaces by straight people really allyship? What are straight people doing in order to respect the fact that gay clubs are primarily meant to be safe spaces for LGBT people?
What has your experience of OMG been like?
Lara: My experiences in OMG vastly vary. Over the summer once it was allowed to open, I had not a single negative experience. While the music seemed repetitive, the people I encountered were so genuine and I got closer to many queer people I’m now lucky enough to call friends. Once the influx of students looking for a cheap night out returned, Wednesday nights became honestly underwhelming and at times unbearable. Fights breaking out, leaving bruised from being pushed and kicked and friends being spiked due to the immense amount of people allowed in. On the weekends however, the club feels far more how it did in the summer, the entry price seemingly weeding out those who would rather go to more student-catered clubs with specialist DJs and themed nights. My caution to other queer people is bear the extra cost and enjoy the better music and safer environment on the weekends (my preference is Fridays).
Titas: Cheap club night, really packed with rowdy lads, nothing of interest.
Darnell: My experience with OMG is mixed. I feel as though within the community, consent with touch and kissing isn't very much consenting. I have been groped and sexually harassed more than once, even being a gay male it’s still not okay. I don't think boundaries is something that exists in that club as I know of sexual acts that have happened within the club itself as well.
Ali: I worked at OMG during the pandemic for a few months when I first moved to Bristol. Initially, the prospect of working for a gay club seemed exciting. However, during my time at OMG, I experienced a disgusting amount of sexual harassment. During my first shift a group of middle age men were telling me in graphic detail how they wanted to tag team me and face-f**k me after I finished my shift. This was not a one-off instance. On other shifts I was groped, touched and pulled by both gay men and gay women. Instances like these would happen 10+ times on EVERY shift.
I did not feel like OMG had a culture where this behaviour was not tolerated. More than anything, OMG viewed themselves as a business rather than a safe space for LGBT people. By management, I was seen as a bartender and waiter. By the customers, I was seen as a piece of meat. I began to ask myself, when was I going to be viewed as a person? That’s when I decided to not return after the 2021 lockdown.
Do you feel non-LGBTQ+ people have a responsibility to avoid these spaces? (For example cis straight women who want to avoid cis straight men?)
Lara: Whether or not allies/non-LGBTQ+ people should enter queer spaces is a difficult topic. If you attempt to stop straight people entering spaces, you’re forcing queer people to prescribe to stereotypes in order to be allowed into their safe spaces. I myself have dyed my hair, gotten piercings etc in an attempt to look more outwardly queer due to reasons such as this. So long as people entering queer spaces are respectful allies who understand they are a guest that we are trusting to support us, I see no issue with their involvement in LGBTQ+ spaces.
Titas: Definitely, it should be a safe space for LGBT+ people. Cis straight women’s safety comes at the expense of LGBT+ people's safety. If cis straight women want a safe space they should make their own.
Darnell: I do not feel that non-LGBTQ+ people have to avoid these spaces, especially if it’s cis straight women to avoid cis straight men. I feel like that they should be allowed to do that but I also think that if we are talking on terms of cis straight men avoiding these spaces, then yes because I’ve been in one of these spaces and have been a bystander to homophobia, and had to step in and defend someone within the community.
Ali: I personally accept non-LGBT people into LGBT spaces however within reason. Consider why you are coming to such a venue, who you are coming with and how are you contributing to this space.
What do you think these spaces could be doing more of?
Lara: I believe queer spaces should allow for events catered towards different aspects of the community. Queer femme nights for any women/non-binary people who do not feel catered towards by the masculine dominated bars and events (think of Wednesday night competitions at OMG for example, their intended audience is made VERY clear).
Titas: Have more LGBT+ style events e.g. drag shows, queer performers, dress up (and only let clearly queer-ly dressed people in - though you don't want it to go too far like Heaven in London, which turns non-cis-white-gay-men away).
Darnell: If I’m honest I’m not sure because I don’t know how you avoid these types of people without generalising and stereotyping and I feel that as a community that has experienced that, that is not the way to go about it and we need to learn from that.
Do you have any notable negative experiences of these spaces (concerning the influx of non-allies or in general)?
Lara: I have two notable negative experiences, both taking place at OMG. One involved being repeatedly kicked and shoved in my small group and when asking the girl in question to respect us in our space (as she had mentioned she was straight) she responded we should respect her being able to dance freely. We later spoke to the manager and were told to inform her immediately if anything further were to ever happen. So I appreciate the gesture there.
The other comes from myself defending a girl who had been repeatedly pushed and insulted by a straight man who continued to verbally insult me, not on my sexuality explicitly but on my appearance and demeanour, both in which would evidence to most people I am queer so I can assume it was loaded with such intent.’
Titas: Sports societies' "takeover" of OMG is a bit of a kick in the teeth to be honest; they were really pushy and rude to the regulars.
Ali: Gay spaces need to highlight their values more effectively and make it clear that harassment is NOT tolerated in such spaces. They should implement the appropriate measures to make sure that any recreational drug use that occurs happens safely. They should highlight the fact that they are primarily a space for LGBT people. Money should be donated to LGBT charities. The teams who work in such places should be fully trained on what to do in cases of spiking and harassment.
Do you feel these businesses are beginning to exploit the culture of queerness in order to attract a new customer base?
Lara: Queer bars have and always will have to appeal to the broad culture of queerness and the stereotypes that it comes with. No venue, LGBTQ+ or not, will ever be able to appeal to every single person. In saying that, more bars have begun to include resident drag acts, a very strict music line-up of pop queens and girl bands, and themed nights to appeal to the next generation of LGBTQ+ people. I think as much as it could be accused of reducing the community to a group of clichés, it is needed for the functionality of these spaces as a business.
Titas: OMG definitely with the drag queen performance (which is played off as more of a gimmick than an art form) and the fact that lads go up on stage and strip.
With OMG having one of the highest spiking rates in Bristol do you have any opinions on how the club or similar clubs could be creating a safer environment for its customers?
Lara: For all venues, specifically queer venues, increased searching and security may come with more risks than benefits. It only increases the opportunity for discrimination on who is searched and how invasively as well as the complicated and toxic relationship between queer people and police/security figures. I think a massive thing that OMG could do is watch the maximum capacity of the venue as far too often it’s felt very overcrowded and unsafe. If there is no easy way to exit a situation, find friends or alert staff, then danger levels increase exponentially.
Darnell: Being a victim of spiking in OMG - thank god nothing happened to me that night - I do not feel the safest and I feel that the bar staff should have a duty to watch out for these things, and should serve drinks with some sort of cap. I’m not the only person who I know who has been spiked in that club and it’s really scary being the person in that position of not having control over your mindset and body.
The experiences and opinions above demonstrate just how much there is left to do in terms of creating safe and enjoyable LGBTQ+ club environments, despite the brilliance and richness that already exists within them. Overall, it would be incredibly difficult to police who enters gay bars without the risk of disenfranchising members of the LGBTQ+ community who may not immediately present as such.
However, as a community, we have the responsibility to create an environment that is progressive, expressive and fun, whilst upholding the safety of ourselves and others. This may mean that straight individuals, such as myself, should find alternate venues for partying in or at the very least be wary of the way we behave within these spaces.
We should also be open-minded and supportive of the range of sexualities these venues are to encompass, they are not simply a space for gay men but a space for everyone identifying under the LGBTQ+ label. Hopefully with this approach these spaces will become what they set out to be: a place for freedom of expression and a release from the burdens of the everyday.
Responses have been edited for length and clarity.
